


What Sightless Eyes Do See

by JinxedAmbitions



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bossy Bottom Cas, Bunker Fic, Established Relationship, M/M, Porn With Plot, Top Dean, blind!cas, human!Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-15
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2018-01-08 19:11:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1136360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JinxedAmbitions/pseuds/JinxedAmbitions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coming to the bunker after being released from the hospital, Castiel has a difficult time adapting to life without sight.  Constant help from others and pitying looks frustrate the former angel, but Dean's looks are different, his presence a safety net not a leash.   When a possible case comes up, tensions rise over whether Cas is ready to be left to his own devices while the brothers are away.  Sam believes that it's too soon, but Dean believes that Cas needs to find his own way, both around the bunker and in accepting what happened to him.  </p><p>Or a story about Dean finally learning how to be supportive by stepping back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Sightless Eyes Do See

**Author's Note:**

> It's been about six years since I've written any sort of fanfiction or was an active part of a fandom, so this me jumping back in. It isn't Beta'd, so any mistakes are my own. I hope you enjoy it!

“If it is not of great import, I would prefer it if you would refrain from staring,” Castiel said as he sat picking at the tacos Dean had made for them.

“Oh uh, yeah. Sorry, Cas. It's just,” Sam paused as he ignored his own meal. “It's really good to have you back, man,” he said earnestly.

“It is good to be back,” Cas replied as he took a tentative bite out of the taco Dean had built for him. A small smile crept over his features as he tasted the abundance of ground beef with just a hint of lettuce, cheese, and salsa. He ate the rest of the taco without hesitation. When he was finished with his food, he felt around carefully for the water bottle Dean had placed at two o'clock. Castiel had not taken easily to losing his sight. Every day was a struggle from knocking around the bunker trying to map it out without the cane he refused to use to feeling everyone's pitying gazes boring into him.

“You want a beer, Cas?” Dean asked. He pushed the water bottle into Castiel's groping hands without a thought as he passed the other man to take his own seat.

“I think that I am clumsy enough as it is without the help of inebriation. Thank you, Dean,” Castiel replied. He unscrewed the cap with scarred fingers and brought the bottle to his lips to sip it slowly. He could feel Dean's eyes on him, but he said nothing. It wasn't the same as Sam's gaze or Charlie's or anyone's to be honest. Castiel didn't feel the choking pressure of his pity when Dean stared.

“Yeah, you are a bit of a lightweight. Don't want you accidentally stumbling through the weapons room drunk. It was bad enough when you went in sober last week...”

“Dean,” Sam all but hissed at his brother's lack of tact.

“What Sam? We all know he's blind. Ignoring it isn't going to suddenly give him his sight back,” Dean argued as he dug into his own dinner.

“That doesn't mean that you have to be crass about it,” Sam scolded. Castiel didn't need his eyes to know the tight face the younger Winchester was making.

“It is alright, Sam. Dean is correct. The sooner we, _I_ , accept this; the faster I shall acclimate,” Castiel interrupted their dispute. He put the water bottle down close to two o'clock again. He folded his hands in his lap for a moment while he studiously ignored the gazes he could feel glued to him. Castiel's hand shot out after a minute and slapped away Dean's approaching fingers as the older Winchester attempted to steal a couple nachos from Castiel's plate. “I am blind, Dean, not oblivious,” he scolded though his expression was one of fondness.

Sam laughed loudly as Dean's hand retreated back to his own plate. They continued to eat their meal companionably. Sam and Dean discussed a possible case while Castiel listened carefully to both the words they said and the emotions that he could easily pick out of each of their voices.

“Maybe we should call in someone else to handle it,” Sam said as he brought his trash to the garbage.

“Man, it's not even that far away. We haven't been on a hunt in a while,” Dean replied as he too started to pick up his trash and Castiel's.

“You haven't gone since the accident,” Castiel said quietly as he sat with his hands in his lap once again. He kept his head down, because he knew that their eyes would immediately snap to the scars covering his face.

“Exactly, it's been months,” Dean said. He walked around the other man but let his free hand brush Castiel's shoulder. The touches had become a habit after the accident. Like the staring, Castiel couldn't stand to be touched by most people even if he considered them a good friend. He was a former Angel of the Lord. He did not need to be guided around like a child, no matter how good ones intentions were. However, Dean's touches were different. He didn't ask for permission, and his fleeting touches held no other purpose than to tell Castiel that he was there, that he was there no matter what.

“Dean, do you really think we can leave Cas for however long this job will take? We aren't even sure what we're dealing with yet. It could be weeks,” Sam argued.

“I am perfectly capable of looking after myself, Sam,” Castiel replied for Dean. It was insulting to be talked about like this, even if they had good reason.

“Cas, you fell down the stairs twice this week because you still haven't mapped out the whole bunker. You've only been here a few weeks. No one expects you to get the hang of this immediately. I just think...”

“Sammy, enough. We'll talk about it later,” Dean said firmly, leaving no room for argument. Sam didn't say another word. “You want to go listen to some records, Cas?” Dean asked as he unintentionally crowded Castiel's personal space again.

“Very well, Dean,” Castiel said, but his voice wavered between shame and regret.

“Hey,” Dean's lips were right next to Castiel's left ear, his words just between them. “If you can lead me to the right room, I'll make it worth your while,” Dean said when Castiel turned his head to show his attention.

“Are you not going to stay to continue your conversation with Sam?” Castiel asked. He turned into Dean's side, and rested his hand on Dean's forearm.

“I said my peace. I'd rather listen to some Zeppelin with you than argue,” Dean replied, never stepping away or breaking their contact.

“I was hoping to listen to one of the classical records you brought me,” Castiel said with a small smile.

“You get us to our room, and I'll ever consider letting you play that garbage.”

“Handel, Beethoven, and Chopin are not garbage, Dean,” Castiel said with a put upon sigh. Dean laughed at the familiar expression that crossed Cas' face. Castiel didn't wait for Dean's undoubtedly witty reply. He let go of Dean's arm and turned back toward the corridor that led to Dean's bedroom.

His steps were steady as he crossed the room. Dean followed closely behind but didn't offer direction or a hand. Castiel paused when he felt his foot brush past something. “You're doing fine, Cas,” Dean whispered in his ear as he placed his hands on Castiel's upper arms from behind him. He gently pecked Cas' scruffy cheek before backing away again and allowing Castiel to continue by his own direction.

Once Castiel reached the maze of corridors that led through the bunker, he held out his hand and let his fingers drag against the wall to guide and steady himself. He could hear Dean's steady footsteps behind him, always far enough to give him space but close enough to catch him if he stumbled. Castiel followed the corridors with more ease than even that morning. He was starting to know the bunker which was impressive since Sam and Dean weren't certain that they had even discovered all of the bunker's rooms yet. That was another one of Sam's concerns. What if Castiel accidentally stumbled into a place where they couldn't find him? Cas was not only without sight but also without grace to protect him.

Castiel paused at Dean's door and waited for the other man to approach. “Not going in?” Dean asked with a fond smile that Castiel could hear in the tone of the words even if he couldn't see it.

“It would be rude to enter your room without permission,” Castiel replied as he waited for Dean to open the door to let them in.

“That never stopped you from flying in when you were an angel. Anyway, it's not like you don't sleep here too,” Dean grumbled though there was no fire in the words. Castiel could feel the shift in air from the door opening, and he stepped past Dean.

“I no longer operate by the laws of angels, Dean,” Castiel replied with a soft sigh as he walked over to the collection of records that Dean had set up for him. Their room was the only part of the bunker that Castiel never worried about stumbling or getting lost in. Dean kept it immaculate simply out of habit, so Castiel didn't have to worry about tripping. There was also the freedom of knowing that if Castiel did happen to knock into something or fall, it was his space to do it without being pitied. Dean clipped his knee on the frame of the bed often enough that Castiel knew it wasn't only himself.

Castiel let his fingers run over the album sleeves one by one as he felt the labels that Dean had spent hours, one Saturday, making. The first thing Dean had done when Castiel had come home from the hospital was to run out and buy them a braille label maker. Castiel could already read braille, a remnant from his days as an angel, so Dean had labeled everything he could get his hands on. Castiel had hated it at first. He'd taken it as a glaring sign of his weakness, but he had changed his mind when he'd locked Dean out of their room and just wanted to listen to Metallica and be angry. It was both infuriating and an important learning experience when he'd had to use the labels to find the album he wanted.

“So which man in ruffles and tights is it going to be tonight?” Dean asked from the bed where he sat with his back against the headboard and legs sprawled.

“Ruffles and tights are hardly damning when compared to the clothing and hairstyles of the musicians you prefer, Dean,” Castiel said as he shook his head fondly.

“Don't hate on...”

“ _I_ was not the one condemning history's greatest composers, because they prescribed to the fashion of the time. I simply made an objective comparison,” Cas said. He pulled out the record he wanted and placed it on the record player with the greatest care before placing the needle. “Fur Elise” played softly as he made his way to the bed. He crawled onto the mattress without a word and sat cross-legged at the foot of the bed just below Dean's sprawled feet. Castiel untied Dean's boots while they listened together in easy silence, then he tugged them off and placed them neatly beside the bed. Dean's socks were next, and Castiel took his time to run his fingers over Dean's feet once they were bare.

He trailed his fingers up Dean's jean covered legs before straddling his thighs and unbuckling Dean's belt. Dean didn't say a word as Castiel carefully undressed him. He closed his eyes and listened to the lilting piano notes as Castiel popped the button on his pants and lowered the zipper. Without being asked, Dean raised his hips so Castiel could slip the jeans down his legs and tug them off his feet.

The song slipped into the “Moonlight Sonata” as Castiel ran his fingers up Dean's bare legs. Soft kisses followed the caresses. Castiel nipped at the soft flesh behind Dean's knees which elicited a soft gasp from the reclined man. “This isn't the sort of thing I'm used to having sex to,” Dean commented as Castiel nipped and massaged Dean's inner thighs.

“Perhaps you should have had more discerning sexual partners. Pleasure is not always speed and power,” Castiel replied. He leaned forward and pushed Dean's over-shirt off his shoulders before he lifted his t-shirt over his head. When Dean was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, Castiel resumed where he had left off, at the top of Dean's thighs. He ran his long fingers along Dean's sides and over his ribs and dipped his head down to kiss and nibble at the soft flesh of Dean's belly.

“You always go right for the tummy,” Dean chuckled as he squirmed under Cas' attentions. Castiel's stubble scratched lightly at the skin around Dean's navel as he nuzzled him. Castiel did not respond but the smirk he pressed into Dean's skin between kisses told Dean it was intentional. Cas took his time kissing up Dean's chest till he paused to lave one nipple then the other. His tongue was gentle at first, just tentatively caressing the skin until it raised. Then he nipped playfully before taking the bud between his teeth and rolling it with growing pressure as Dean panted heavily and curled his fingers in the sheets.

Dean always tried his hardest to keep his hands to himself while Castiel explored his body. Since Castiel had lost his sight, he started every interlude they shared by first disrobing Dean then exploring his entire body. Dean accepted it as mapping of sorts, though Castiel knew every part of him even before he went blind. When Castiel's fingers tripped over Dean's skin and scars, when he tasted his skin, when he heard Dean's soft panting or rumbling groans, he could see Dean as he did when he had sight. Because of that, Dean kept his hands to himself so as not to take away from Castiel's moments of vision.

However, when Castiel forcefully straddled Dean's hips and thrust his shoulders against the headboard with firm hands, Dean had to bite his lip to keep from crying out or grabbing the other man. Cas ground his hips down on Dean's clothed erection as he pressed his lips into Dean's neck. He moved his hips to the faster pace of the music and bit Dean's clavicle with teasing pressure. Dean groaned and finally let his arms embrace Castiel's lithe body. He wrapped his arms around the smaller man's back and used his strong hands to massage Cas' muscles while Cas continued to grind his ass into Dean's crotch.

Castiel took Dean by the wrists and pulled his arms away from his back and pinned them beside his head. “Stay,” he commanded. He took Dean's face in his hands when he let go, and he trailed kisses from his cheeks, across his forehead, before pressing their lips together. He nipped at Dean's bottom lip and ran his fingers through Dean's short hair and pulled it firmly to the side and trailed kisses over his jaw to his ear. He bit gently then suckled on the lobe which caused Dean to buck beneath him and moan. “Don't hold back. I want to hear you,” he coaxed as he pulled away.

Castiel stripped with clinical precision before taking the bottom of Dean's boxers and tugging them down his legs, freeing his erection which bobbed up from his thighs. Castiel was digging through Dean's bedside drawer by the time Dean could wrangle any sort of attention out of himself. Before Dean could say anything, Castiel was straddling him again, using one hand to pump his dick firmly while the other popped open the cap of the bottle of lube. Castiel kissed Dean one more time, taking command of Dean's mouth, as he did the rest of his body, nipping and slipping his tongue past the other man's slackened lips. Then he pulled away and knelt in front of Dean.

He continued to stroke Dean's cock as he bent forward to lick at the head before taking it in his mouth. Castiel carefully poured some lube over his fingers as he continued to suck Dean. He swallowed Dean all the way to the base of his erection as he reached around his body and began to probe at his own hole.

“Oh god, Cas. You're killing me here,” Dean choked out as he watched the man before him deftly pleasure them both. Castiel's only response was to suck harder on Dean's cock which caused Dean to nearly fold in half, the sensation was so strong. He groaned loudly, but he consciously kept his hands on either side of his head, gripping the headboard, even though he wanted to place his hands all over Castiel.

Cas took his time prepping himself, using the same amount of care he'd used to explore Dean's body. His rhythm faltered when he pressed his index finger inside slowly. Dean gasped and pressed his cheek to the cool headboard. “Dammit, Cas! Want to touch you,” Dean growled as he watched Castiel pump his finger slowly in and out of himself before adding a second. Castiel couldn't be sure whose moan he was hearing at that moment, but the sound was arousing just the same.

Cas scissored his fingers and sought out his prostate as he continued to work Dean's cock with long bobs of his head. He pulled up when he found his prostate and shuddered as he rested his forehead against Dean's hip. He collected himself and paid special attention to the head of Dean's penis while he finished prepping himself. He wrapped his tongue around the crown and worried the slit gently with his tongue as he basked in the music of Dean's harsh breathing and moans.

When he could comfortably work three fingers in and out of his hole, he pulled off of Dean's cock and groped around for the condom he had placed on the bed. “Dean,” he said with displeasure lacing his words when Dean pressed the foil square into his hand and laced their fingers together around it.

“Sorry, I just needed to touch you,” Dean's said softly, and Castiel knew exactly which adoring expression Dean was wearing on his blissed out face. He could see Dean's freckles standing out in stark relief against his flushed cheeks in his mind's eye, and Cas' frustration melted. He squeezed Dean's hand tenderly before firmly placing it back against the headboard.

Cas tore the foil and rolled the condom onto Dean's erection before he straddled him again. He took Dean's face in his hand as he held himself up with trembling thighs. He stroked Dean's cheek with his left hand while he placed his right on Dean's left shoulder where he'd gripped him years ago. He dropped his left hand to guide himself as he sank slowly onto Dean's cock until he was fully seated in the other man's lap. They rested their foreheads together as they both caught their breath before Cas started to ride Dean in long slow thrusts. Their breath mingled as they panted heavily trying to hold on as long as they could, even though both were so worked up and in danger of tipping over the edge. Cas took Dean's hands and laced their fingers as he started to ride him harder. They bit at each others lips in a sloppy kiss that Cas broke off to tip his head back and moan dirtily when a slight adjustment of Dean's hips caused him to hit Cas' prostate when he sank down again.

Dean returned the moan when Cas rolled his hips and ground down. Dean had no time to warn the other man before be was coming with a steady force that lingered as Cas continued to fuck himself on Dean's softening cock. “Touch me,” Castiel's voice was so wrecked that it was barely a whisper above the skipping sound that signified the end of the record. Dean didn't need to be told twice.

He pulled his hands from Cas' and wrapped one around Cas as he brought his knees up to support Cas' back as his movements wavered tiredly. Dean scooted up the bed to sit up more and eased Cas back onto his thighs as he grasped his erection in his sure hand. He stroked Cas with deft fingers, twisted his wrist, just so, to wring gasps out of Cas' lungs. He rubbed his thumb over the head with practiced pressure to make Cas writhe almost bonelessly in his lap. Before long, Castiel was coming over Dean's fist with a strained cry.

Dean flipped them as Castiel came down. He slipped out of the other man, and pulled the condom off with a tug before disposing of it quickly. Castiel's breathing was still labored when Dean laid beside him and pressed his palm over Cas' chest. Dean pressed light kisses to Cas' neck and face while they both relaxed. They didn't say anything as they held each other. They fell asleep with Dean's head resting comfortably against Cas' chest where he'd dozed off while pressing kisses to skin.

***

Dean woke to the sound of something crashing against the floor followed by Cas' sleep rough voice cursing a blue streak. Dean shot up in their bed and looked around the room frantically until his eyes found Castiel knelt on the floor beside Dean's destroyed record player. Dean jumped out of bed and pulled Castiel away from the mess before he hurt himself, and deposited him back on the bed. Cas cursed the entire time which was something Castiel never did.

“Cas!” Dean said commandingly as he put a hand on each of the man's shoulders.

“I'm so clumsy. I can't do anything like this. I destroyed it. I...”

“Doesn't matter, Cas,” Dean said as he looked the other man over for injuries. “The bunker has more than one record player. Are you okay?” he asked.

“No, Dean. I can't see! I went from being a warrior of God to being a helpless, clumsy human that you and Sam are afraid to leave to his own devices for long enough to take even a simple case,” Castiel shouted as he pushed Dean away. His sightless eyes were wild, surrounded by the lace of scars that covered a portion of his face.

“I understand, Cas...”

“No you don't. You can't possibly understand this. I can't even dress myself without breaking something or injuring myself. What did you call me back them? A baby in a trench coat. Now, it might as well be true,” Cas raged as he pushed himself as far from Dean as he could. Dean looked at the mess and could see where Cas had tripped over his own sneaker, something they both tried to be so careful about.

“You aren't a baby, Cas. You'll get better at this. Maybe I can't understand exactly what you're going through, but trust me. I know what it is to lose everything. You're going to be alright. You're the strongest person I know. You pulled me out of Hell. You survived Purgatory,” Dean said without a hint of doubt in his voice as he knelt beside the bed.

“I was an angel what I did those things. Now, I'm just a shell of a man,” Cas replied brokenly before his anger reignited. “I can't even take control in this tiny room, never mind outside of it. I'm useless!”

“You took control last night, or is your memory troubling you too?” Dean asked. He stood up and began picking their discarded clothes off the floor.

“You let me have control, just like you let me stumble my way to our room even though we'd get here faster if you just took my hand like everyone else,” Cas responded sourly.

“I'm not going to argue with you, Cas. You have every right to be mad as hell, but don't take it out on us. Damn right, I'm going to let you find your way, and you better believe it that I'm going to be right behind you the whole time. I've fucked up a lot of things in my life, but I refuse to fuck this up, Cas. So get mad, take it out on the bunker. I'll be back when you calm down,” Dean said as he stepped toward the door. He picked his two family photos up before he slipped out of the room. He heard something else crash as he closed the door.

Sam was waiting in the corridor looking concerned especially when he took in Dean's expression and the fact that he was only wearing boxers. “He needs to vent,” Dean said as he waved Sam off from asking about it.

“This is why I don't want to leave him while we go on a hunt, Dean,” Sam said worriedly as he fell into step with his brother.

“No, Sam. This is why were need to go on a hunt and let him fend for himself. We've mothered his since he was released from the hospital. He's not going to believe in his own abilities till we step back and let him see that he can still function,” Dean argued. He rubbed anxiously at the back of his neck, his body wrought with tension.

“You mothered me through the trials...”

“And look where that got us. No, I'm not fucking this up too, Sam. Trust me. Cas can look after himself. He just needs to be reminded,” Dean said as he filled a glass of water in the kitchen.

“And what if you're wrong Dean? What if we come back and he's more broken than when we left him?” Sam asked with a defeated droop to his broad shoulders. “I love Cas, too. I'm just trying to look out for him.”

“I know you do, you are. I just think that our worry and mothering is a constant reminder of how far he's fallen. I'm not saying we need to cross the country, but we should take the small jobs close to home. Give him some space, some privacy,” Dean reasoned. He leaned against the sink while Sam leaned on the counter across from him. They were both quiet for several minutes while they contemplated the situation.

“I still don't think he's ready, but I guess we'll see,” Sam relented.

***

Castiel woke to the sensation of Dean's stubble rubbing against his inner thigh. Cas drowsily opened his sightless eyes and reached down to run his fingers through Dean's soft hair. “You feeling any better?” Dean asked as he nipped playfully at the sensitive flesh.

“I feel embarrassed,” Castiel admitted as he stared blankly up at the ceiling. His hand still caressed through Dean's short hair.

“You shouldn't,” was all that Dean said as he took Cas' penis in his mouth and coaxed it to life with gentle suckles. Castiel could feel Dean's eyes on him even as he paid most of his attention to Castiel's budding erection.

“Why do you continue to stare at me? There's nothing to see in my eyes anymore,” Castiel asked out of curiosity. He couldn't bring himself to tell Dean not to stare, but he also wanted to know why.

“There's plenty to see, Cas. You always know when I'm looking, and you always return it. Maybe you stare just over my shoulder, but you see me. You saw my tattered soul in Hell; you rebuilt it. I don't think you need working eyes to see me,” Dean said as he stroked Castiel with his hand.

“You didn't answer the question, Dean” Castiel replied.

“Don't make me say it, Cas. Isn't it enough that I am willing to suck your cock? Do we really need to turn this into a chick flick moment?” Dean asked before taking Cas' cock in his mouth again and hollowing out his cheeks. For his efforts, he received a sharp tug to his hair where Cas' hand still played with it. Dean pulled back and looked back up at Cas' face.

“Indulge me,” was all Cas said, his face stern.

Dean sighed deeply before placing a few more kisses to Cas' thighs. “Dude, I stare because after everything we've been through, sometimes I just can't believe that I get to have you, broken or not. There, you happy? Can I get my manhood back by getting you off with my sexual expertise?” Dean asked quickly after his confession, but Cas' hand in his hair stopped him from going back to fellating him.

“Thank you, Dean. I am grateful to have you as well,” Cas said as he looked somewhere just over Dean's head, but Dean didn't mind at all. He crawled up Cas' body to kiss him soundly as he pressed their naked bodies together.

“We'll get through this, Cas,” he said as he placed tender kisses along the other man's jaw and held him tightly.


End file.
